You have a death wish. You genuinely want the captain to have a cardiac arrest just so you can slip behind the joy stick and 'save the day'. See you on the other side, Maverick.
Cat's Eye: Meow, aren't you the saucy one. We don't have to wonder what you get up to beneath the sheets. We know you like to 'present', then take the leash then lash your partner with it. Ouchie!
'That Seventies thang' These are the love child of Iris Apfel and Lew Wasserman. You are either an Octogenarian, ageing Porn star or still young but concealing a considerable coke habit.
Round: They call you 'Mellow Yellow' but you should hear what they call you behind your back.
White rimmed: the sweet bird of youth has flown and don't you know it. You can't go menopausal blonde like a brunette of your age so you show your age angst in Lolitaesque frames.
You watched too much CHiPs growing up, didn't you? And when you weren't on that channel you flicked over to watch Fantasy Island with pint-sized Tattoo: "de plane, de plane, boss". You've had a thing for small men with Napoleon complexes every since.
Wayfarers: I've probably fancied every single man who has worn this style of sunglasses ever since they were designed. JFK wore a version of this, loved him. Tom Cruise, Risky Business, loved him. Jack Nicholson, loved him, come on up you bad boy.
RP? You're a bit young for me, stroll on pal.
You are a fashion whack job.
Off on holiday for a fortnight, see you when I get back!
I'm wearing big black horses' blinkers.