Ladies and Gentlemen, today I ask you to consider the lobster.
He is the haughtiest crustacean, he shamelessly flirts at the salons of writers, artists, fashion designers and restaurateurs without ever letting his monocle slip.
He is an oceanic muse, serial monogamist and spiffy fencer.
He can be a cheap date at a sea side road shack or the toast of the town at a top restaurant. He is a man for all seasons.
My favourite 'lobby' is Sir Reginald (I made that bit up) Wilton as seen below, visitors to London should be sure to swing by and shake his claw.
He is, however, an utter snob, so do beware.
Dali lobster phone