As I lazed around on Sunday, looking like a Rorschach ink blot from floundering under The Sunday Times and flicking my way through Style, Stella & You, I realised how futile resistance is when it comes to fashion. Androgyny, ruffles, florals, metallics and full on peacock glamour seem to be our upcoming options.
The die has been cast, the auspices have been consulted, this spring, it is time to take a new Christian name.
Rose: There is nothing second hand about this Rose. She is the Chelsea Flower show come to life. She is not quite as demure as she appears as she enjoys the occasional dalliance with Liberty and Paisley print.
Carmen: She's a fruity one all right.
She thinks nothing of ruffling up like her favourite fruit, the pineapple. Don't think for a second that she is low brow, she is descended from the Fifth Earl of Dunmore, just go gaze upon his wondrous garden folly.
Lulu: She is a natural beauty. A living breathing hymn to Southern California. When she is not honing her earthly temple in her lemons, she is kicking back in her sweats.
Zsa Zsa: She is a high glamour pea hen who considers breathing optional when going out for the evening. If you are a man, beware; dangerous curves ahead.
Charlie Girl: "Kinda young, kinda now, Charlie! Kinda free, Kinda wow, Charlie!" Ah Shelley Hack's spirit has returned this season. Pull out your Le Smoking and press play on 'Dude Looks Like a Lady'.
Sheena may have been a punk rocker or even a metal maiden. She takes her cue from past hair band lovers but she always had a bit on the side at Studio 54.
We are all a mix of types; I'm a Lulu Zsa Zsa, I hanker over that emerald green Valentino dress and a slouchy grey sweatshirt from American Apparel with equal fervour.
What about you?