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Monday, November 26, 2012

'The Future's So Bright I Gotta Wear Shades'


Today I am whisking all of you back to 1986, a year when that song was riding high in the hit parade, work began on the Chanel Tunnel,The Sun reported that Freddie Star ate a live hamster and 
and the last time when I had a pair of sunglasses which fitted properly.
The hamster has since emerged alive and is now living in a two up two down in Morecambe.

Every time I go to an opticians I am informed by a soft humming and hawing that the topography of my  face is  "a little bit Asian" for a Caucasian and that my low nose bridge and high cheekbones are responsible for the red cheek divets which take well over an hour to die down.

The only solution proffered has been for my snooty little  sunglasses to enjoy a first class round trip to Hong Kong for a little nip 'n' tuck but I'm the jealous type and grudge sending the little blinkers off an all expenses paid jolly without me. 



Rayban Wayfarers were soldered onto my ears all through the Eighties. They were the one thing in life which never let me down -  if only I could say that about some of the men in my life.
I've decided that what is old is new again. New Wayfarer 902 here I come.


How many pairs of sunglasses do you own?
Are you lucky enough to wear whatever catches your eye or are you facially handicapped like me? 
That's "zygotically challenged"  for our American chums.

80 comments:

  1. Wayfarers are classic. Lately I've mostly had the "transition" lenses on my regular glasses which darken in the light. But I recently purchased a pair of BIG sunglasses that are in Jackie O territory. My problem is that I'm blind as a bat so everything has to have the progressive prescription which is expensive. If it weren't for that, I'd probably have a second "sportier" pair.

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    1. Une Femme - I have always wanted BIG sunglasses but I am just ging to have to dace the fact that I don't have the face to carry them. And yes so expensive, my lenses alone are coming in at about £250. I envy those who can just buy sunglasses on a whim.

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  2. I wear contacts, so no prescription in my sunglasses. I bought the new Chloe sunglasses which are similar to the Audrey Hepburn glasses. All glasses leave a red mark on my cheekbones - thought it was water retention. I love Wayfarers and JFK still floats my boat.

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    1. Kathy - the marks really hurt my skin and take hours to go down, so I couldn't go out for hours if I had worn sunglasses, my nose is also not big enough apparently!
      I can only wear my contacts for a few hours every couple of weeks. I know the Chloe ones, they are lovely.

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  3. I have no sunglasses!! Haha. I wear glasses as I would bump into things without them ;) Despite my pictures never having me with my glasses on ;) I was thinking of getting some sunglasses with my prescription in them, so I could wear sunglasses as I'm always envious of people in the sunshine with them on. Plus, I can stare at people without them knowing I am - I'm such a people watcher ;) xx

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    1. Dainty Doll - oh you should, I've really missed having a pair, and they hide a multitude of sins.

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  4. I am utterly, indeed hopelessly, addicted to/dependent upon my Raybans, however, I am a classic aviator kinda gal. My face has played host to these bad boys since the age of 21, but due to my somewhat slap dash storage techniques, read into that what you will, I have been 'forced' to acquire a new pair every year. So this year marks my eighth pair. Only since reading this post have I realised just how deep a sunglasses rut I am in, and have made peace with the fact that I have no intention of changing this!

    Besides, I have always loved being called Maverick!

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    1. miss e- they are very sexy on a woman, very Angelina Jolie.

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  5. P.S. if I could get glasses, I want a pair of vintage cat-eye framed ones, with maybe some rhinestones on them ;)

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  6. My sunglasses have been a trusty $5 slightly-smaller-than-a-Jackie-O style pair for the last 3 years. I am quite pleased with them and they actually fit properly. Best $5 I ever spent!

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  7. I have a scnozz so sunglasses are fine for me (actually it's not 'that' big it's just not..hmm..cute). Also I have an oval face so I can get away with a fair bit style-wise.

    I have 3 pairs: one el cheapo tortoiseshell colour, one expensive designer pair (no big bling though) and one Valentino pair. Yes, yes I know they're designer but they weren't expensive. I wouldn't usually discuss price (very non-U)but they cost....wait for it...£10. That's right!! No there isn't a 0 (or two) missing from that. They are big, black with no logo and I wear them the most.

    Now cue Tracey Ullman. You remember that song right? It was from the 80s after all.

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    1. £10? Am I the only one getting suckered in an the optician? Yes I do remember the song! Whatever happened to her?

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  8. I missed out an 'h' from schnozz. How very non-U...dropping my 'h's!

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  9. I have one pair of giant Coach tortoiseshell sunglasses that I wear constantly and a pair of rimless Chanel sunglasses that have been relegated to back-up status.

    You may be interested to know that the sunglasses that Audrey Hepburn wore in Breakfast at Tiffany's were actually the Manhattan model by Oliver Goldsmith.

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    1. I thought they were the Oliver Peoples ones? I bought them ages ago but can't wear them.

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  10. Rayban Wayfarers for me too, they hurt my face less than other glasses and they go with everything. I like the tortoiseshell but I also have a pair in black and a sort of gold-camel frame, very nice.
    My that JFK was a handsome rascal!

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  11. I wear contacts most of the time and my favourite sunglasses ever are my wraparound Maui Jim's. They are so light I can hardly feel I'm wearing them, the lenses are fab and when I'm playing tennis or running they don't move a single millimetre. I have a small face and even my optician told me regretfully "You just don't suit glasses". I'd look bug like if I wore those huge shades, even though I love them.

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    1. Sulky, you must have very deft claws and paws to use kitty contacts.

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  12. I think everyone wore a pair of Rayban Wayfarers at some point. I had a couple of them until a couple of years ago when they got stolen out of my car. Now I only have a pair of Prada that go with me everywhere.

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    1. A couple of pairs of sunglasses, but not Raybans. One was Versace, one YSL. In the meantime I found out that all designer sunglasses are made in the same factory in Italy.

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    2. Rose, when I was young and bought them just for fashion, I had so many, now I splurge about once every 8 years.

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  13. Versace's for me and they must be polarized for life aboard our boat in the summertime.
    Raybans are iconic but the Jackie O's call to me but they make my face look very fat :-(

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  14. My sunglasses must have progressive lenses because I'm ocularly challenged. I have several pairs, all of which are uncomfortable because I have a bony bridge to my nose and they dig in leaving giant red sore marks. It's charming. My regular glasses do the same, so every couple of months I go back to the optician to see if there is any combination of contact lenses that will allow me to see. I also must have polarized like Hostess...so the lenses cost a bloody fortune.

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    Replies
    1. Well Styled Life - me too, me too and me too.

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  15. Um, maybe the next time you're visiting over here you should visit one of our large discount eyeglass stores. For a spare pair.

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    1. It's my prescription that bumps it up, I'm Mrs Magoo.

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    2. generally seriously cheaper on those, too.

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    3. Fred- oh then I'll be filling my hand luggage next time I'm over.

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  16. I have three pairs of the same DVF sunglasses so I can keep a pair in each car and one in my handbag. I suppose when I need glasses which I am sure is not far away but the optician always says you have perfect eye sight for your age, I will purchase the transition lenses. Don't you just love that saying "for your age".

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    1. Anon - yes it's a double edged sword of a compliment isn't it?

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  17. My small face + today's oversized styles makes it nearly impossible for me to avoid looking like some large-eyed insect.

    Definite minimalist, though. One black, one tortoise and never w nose pads- those things are downright hazardous to anyone with long hair

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    1. CH Miss between today's styles, my substance "bugs" me too!

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  18. FYEO Tabs, you should come for a visit. We have an optician over here that specializes in sunglasses and ski goggles for Asian faces, kids etc. Can't be that much pricier than your current lenses.
    My big peeve about modern sunglasses - all the logos and hinge bling. Now that I've graduated to not leaving them everywhere I have Wayfayers, a vintage Gucci pair, Kate Spade "goggles" and Michael Kors tortoiseshell,as well as a pair of polarized Oakley sports wraps that look hideous on me, but don't slip or face-dent and are the best thing ever for playing or driving in daytime snow. Sleek "sidearms" only, all bought in the end-of-season sales. That way if I do lose them, no weeping.

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  19. When I was younger and wore my contacts all the time Jackie-O style were my eye shade shape of choice. I was always losing my sunglasses so tended not to buy high-end brands. I also had prescription sunglasses made especially for skiing for my snow-bunny years - back before progressives were generally available. Now I only wear contacts for special night outs so ... yes, I use those "over the glasses" things. Not stylish whatsoever, alas and alack, however, they do the job. I wish somebody would make them prettier!

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  20. I have some lovely Oroton sunnies that hubs bought me and uncharacteristically for me, I've had them for years without losing and/or sitting on them. I usually buy el cheapo ones for this very reason. I don't get nose divets, but sunglasses hurt my ears when I wear them for ages, and no, I don't mean they scream at me in a high pitched voice, I mean they pinch the part behind my ear that connects to me scalp. I also wear them perched on top of my head for hours on end whilst out and about and often notice a definite divet in my skull after that takes ages to go down. Hope I'm not permanently altering the topography of my scone in some worrying way...

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  21. I actually look good in most sunglasses. I think it's because it hides my weird features- my squinty eyes most specifically. I love big sunglasses but I've been told they don't look good on anyone. I disagree.

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  22. Haha...I just can't stop chuckling. I like how your optician said it - a bit Asian for a Caucasian. How is that possible. I have NO nose bridge. For an Asian, I have a rather pointy nose which should give me a little "bridge". I have one pair of sunglasses. It took me so long to find a pair that could be fitted with prescription lens that I simply can't bear the thought of having to hunt for a second pair.

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    1. CC: yes apparently not a single soul in this country has my nose/cheek combo, they always want to build up the glasses at the bridge but until I see that I'll remain on the fence.
      Yes prescription lenses/sunglasses - ultimate faff.

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  23. I love sunglasses and wear them even in the dark. Currently my favorite pair are Ray Ban RB 4152 820 HAVANA. They are my best fashion accessory, similar to Wayfarers but with a slight cat eye. Recently, I want to get Aviators again and here I thought I was done with them after wearing them for about 15 years in my twenties and thirties. I wear contacts, so I wear non-prescription ones.

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  24. Tabs, that Valentino ad is so fabulously Robert Palmer/Bryan Ferry. Break out the body con and red lippy!

    Time for some Bryan on Youtube, eh Claire ?

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    1. Yep! Today, my lucky work colleagues will endure me humming Addicted to Love. I will leave playing air guitar for the privacy of my own home.

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  25. I lose all sunglasses or break them. Complete klutz - cheapos for me, except the next time I go back for new glasses, likely next year, I will get special sunglasses, since I (gasp!) basically need bifocals all the time. Sigh... 1986. Makes me think of Robert Palmer and Ah-ha!

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  26. Reasons to be cheerful,,,,

    Sunglasses....check
    JFK w/ sunglasses and cigar....check check
    90 minute massage after the T day cranky relatives....... check check check
    Tabs' über cool blog......priceless

    Let the joy begin :)
    (yes, I am adapting advertisers' slogans,,,,I kno I kno)

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    1. Anon - great pic of him isn't it?

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  27. Tabs, you DO NOT WANT to know how many sunglasses I have. But my two favorites, never to disappoint or my Tom Fords and my Marc Jacobs. Both of whom are remarkable designers in everything they touch!

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  28. i think i have about 6 good pairs but i usually wear my cheapos b/c i'm always so afraid i'll lose the good ones. so dumb - but true. xo

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  29. I have an über Asian face - practically no nose bridge to speak of. I love the idea of sunglasses but I have to try on ten million pairs in order to find ones that fit. I still bought a pair of Rayban Wayfarers when I was a teen, even if they didn't actually sit properly on my face. I have only had a few pairs of sunglasses in my life, those Wayfarers, then a pair of Pradas which I wore for about 10 years, and now a pair of Oliver Peoples.

    ps. Is there a Chinese shopping district nearby where you live? I go to an optical shop in a Chinese mall in Toronto - I'm always sure to find something that fits well.

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    1. Louise, there isn't here but that's a good tip, I should look in London, it's more cosmopolitan there.
      I have a pair of Oliver Peoples which I love but I just can't wear them.

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  30. Hello Tabitha, I laughed at the suggested trip to Hong Kong, as I have just sent 2 beloved pairs of jeans to New York for restoration. Good lord, I just realized my jeans are spending Christmas in New York, now I AM jealous of them!
    Princess Lambchop

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    1. Princess Lambchop - we have high maintenance purchases!

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  31. Believe it or not, but I own two pairs of the same sunglasses, both from Target. I have a big head and have always had trouble finding glasses that fit my face nicely and I tried the designer glasses path a while back but it just resulted (multi times) in lost or broken glasses. For some reason, when I've got a couple of "I don't care" pairs around, they seem to last forever. But those Valentinos in that first pic - OK, they are kind of hot!

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    1. Lisa, yes like Curator, I love the whole image above.

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  32. I think I am up to about 15 pairs of sunglasses now. I am seriously optically challenged though, so am obliged to wear my specs 24/7. I also have cheek divot issues but suspect it has rather more to do with my chubby cheeks rather than fine bone structure.

    Have never owned a pair of Ray Bans. I don't think they suit me. I tend to favour the Dame Edna over the Tom Cruise.

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  33. Hi Tabs,
    Have you ever tried Karen Walker sunglasses . I own the Number 6 and they fit a smaller face perfectly.

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    1. Marsha, no I haven't heard of them, will go a googling.

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  34. When I saw the heading first thought snow goggles or diving goggles through the floods!!

    Darlinnk don't believe anything about your face is imperfect...all tongue in cheek.....You look smashing in your sunspecs.

    Mine are years old Chanel's need retireing....off to google some of the brands mentioned. Ida

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    1. Ida, the weather in England is horrendous, for once we are fairing much better.

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  35. You are a riot. I'm bit facially handicapped too. I don't buy expensive sunglasses a) because most of them don't look good on me b) i lose them and c) I break them. I have one pair from Anthropologie that look good and I love them. What do you mean the did away with Colonel Mustard? Seriously?

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    1. Debs yes, I've hear that they've taken Colonel Mustard out of Cluedo, had I known I would have started a petition.

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  36. I'm blessed with very narrow sort of face... (probably to compensate the verrrry wide you-know-what). Some'd call it horse-face. And not ever seing a horse with really nice eye-wear, i think I just about answered the question- if question it was..

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  37. i'm facially handicapped - with a nose bridge that is fussy and doesn't accommodate many types of sunglasses. i wistfully look at them though, but they don't all work for me. i think i own a sum total of 3 pairs. :)

    xox P

    phiphi's blog

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  38. Aviators are my favourite and I've realized I need to spend a little more. I've also got to up my maintenance. I never sit on them or lose them but they are usually at the bottom of my bag; scratched and slightly bent. I'd like a pair of glam jackie-o types but they'd swamp my face.

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  40. Living in Spain for the last 12 years I had a basket of sunglasses in my hall and I would grab a pair on the way out of the door. Back in the UK since August they've not found themselves anywhere near my snout :-(
    My fav this year were by Bulgari xx

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  41. I have 10 pairs of sunglasses. I have a face that does not suit large sunglasses like Miss Hepburn so of course I only buy and wear large sunglasses.

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  42. I prefer the Wayfarer as well. Now I have them in prescriptions in a folding model, very cool and handy. The off-the-peg Wayfarers now come with the words RayBan on the glasses themselves, hideous and pretentious and wrong. Take an American penny and rub off the offensive label. Presto. It removes but it does not scratch.

    Before I succumbed to prescriptions I had half a dozen pairs of Knockarounds which are cheap imitation Wayfarer style glasses in multiple colors including a pair with a Jamaican theme excellent for listening to Ska and pretending to be as young as my wife.

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    1. Michael, I can't bear logos so that's a great tip.

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  43. I wear sunglasses Every.Single.Day. My eyes are sensitive to glare, plus I live in a sunny climate (Texas). So I have no trouble justifying owning several pairs, including RayBans ( one prescription, two non, one of which is Wayfarers.). Currently I am wearing a biggish pair I got at Banana Republic. I do have a very large head, but most shades fit me pretty well, as long as I don't try to wear them on top my head! Then they would get horribly stretched out.

    ---Jill Ann

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  44. I can't live without my shades... I feel naked without them!

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  46. I wear Ray Ban Aviators because they are the only sunglasses that look halfway decent on me. So what if I nicked them off my husband.

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  47. I stick to my classic Rayban aviators. They're comfortable and don't leave red marks on my nose due to them being so light. I also like the fact that only the nose pads are in contact with my face - this is good for very hot weather as it doesn't mess up your foundation.

    Tracy.

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  48. I love the idea of sunglasses and have several pairs, including Wayfarers and ones in red, but I rarely wear them. My face/head is all wrong for sunglasses, they always seem to be too tight around my temples, giving me headaches. And most of them are too heavy, the dents they leave on my nose take forever to go away.

    Oh I used to wear them all the time when I drove my convertible with the top down.

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  49. I always wear sunglasses....well except at night of course, but for one thing I can quietly judge when I'm wearing them (an idea from your last post), but honestly, I need my Raybans. I love them because they are reasonably priced and very durable. I only need one pair, but have a back up pair just in case.

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  50. I hated that song. lol I worked in retail when our songs were on...wait for it...VHS. A single, 1 hr tape that we had to rewind each time. And we heard the same songs all day long. Ah, memories.

    I'm sure there are some perfect, humongous shades for you. Time to hit up blogs with beautiful Asian faces to show you how it's done. :)

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    1. GIGI - VHS! We were just talking about that today. I wish I had an Asian metabolism and body, I'd be lithe forever.

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